Abilene Weekly Chronicle and the Dickinson County News from Abilene, Kansas • 5

Frank Huff is serving on the U. S. jury in Topeka. Rev. C.

G. Bear of E-kridge is visiting in town. Mrs H. L. Humphey visited in Salina Tuesday with Mrs Hoyt A little daughter was born to M.r.

Mrs. C. L. Brown Monday. R.

M. White took the Scottish Rite Masonic degree at Salina this week. Mrs. L. Mayhew of Denver is the guest of Mrs.

L. G. Humbarger. Dr. Parker, the veterinarian, returned from a business trip in the south.

LOCAL NEWS. J. B. Case was in Iola this week getting the new bank there in operation. G.

C. Sterl attended a banquet of business men at Topeka evening April 22. E. E. Swanzey has returned from a business trip through the southern part of the state.

Miss Nettie Kirk has gone on a visit to Shelby, Nebraska where he brother lives. Mrs. E. H. Forney and I daughter are visiting with Mrs.

Forney's sister in Wichita. W. McKinstry is receiving a visit from his father, A. McKinstry of Kingman. Mre.

G. H. Smith and little daughter will spend several weeks visiting in Lawrence. Miss Lillian Swisher visited in Salina with Miss Nellie Eberharat on her way home from Colorado. The west side has been organized into sewer distract No 2.

The sew. er will have its outlet into Mud creek. The nobbiest dressed men in the county have their clothes made by Lucier, the tailor. Give his skill a trial and be convinced. Mrs.

Kate Bucbanan who has been visiting her mother Mrs. Shool left for Leadville. Colorado, recently to join her husband. Mrs. M.

E. Myers of Holland, died last Saturday. The funeral was held at the Holland church at 2 o'clock Sunday. Mrs. Myers was born in Pennsylvania in 1845.

The funeral service of Hiram Thayer was held last Friday morning at at the Thayer home, Rev. Blayney officiating. The body was taken to Morris, Illinois. Col. E.

C. Little has requested the boys of the 20th Kansas to meet at his office in order to make arrange ments for their part in the entertainment of Gov. Roosevelt. Miss. Luella Green of Cumberland, Ohio, and Mrs.

F. McCracken of Chambersburg, Pa. are visiting Mrs. J. S.

Schiveley. The latter are on their way to California. The Union Pacific bas been improving its depot grounds for over a year. They have taken up all the plank platforms and put in a solid s'one or pebble walk. During this year they will further, the grounds by planting trees and shrubs on the grounds surrounding the depot.

We do not deny the charge, we The is too plainthat we have the neatest bakery in Abilene aud that we have an assortment on band, to supply the wants of all comere. If you have not done business with us' do so at once. It is to your interest to trade with us. ABILENE BAKERY, Phone 319. A surgical operation was performed on Jacob Poister Monday to ascertain the cause of a severe pain that bas been bothering him for some time and it was learned that a cancer in the left side had caused the trouble.

It is located too near the vitale to permit of it being removed with the surgeon's knife, yet it is believed that other methods may be brought into use to soon remove the cancer. Mr. Poister is resting easy at -Enterprise Journal. It seems that Adonis the" walker" who came through this part of the country last June on his way to California on a walking wager 19 about to lose that wager because he rode on a ferry between Oakland and San Francisco. One of the pro.

visions of the wager was that Adonis was to find a wife on the way. He was married in Topeka and his wife walked the rest of the way with him. -It will be too bad if he loses the waer of $2000 after all the exertion expended. Frank Kirsh has gone to Oklahoma. J.

G. Landis was in Salina Tuesday. Mrs. N. T.

Welch of Iowa is the guest of Judge Porter and family. Mrs. M. E. Heath has returned from a week's visit to Kansas City.

W. A. Matterson took part in the three day shooting contest at Concordia. J. M.

Gleissner is further improvling his building by having a cement walk put down in front. J. W. Brooks is the new U. P.

agent in this city. His mother will will move here from Manhattan in a few days. Rev. P. Bergstresser and family will return to Pittsburg, Pa.

in a few weeks to reside. The family will be missed by their many friends. makes the man." but a tailor is known by the clothes he makes. Lucier, the tailor treats you right when you patronize him. Rev.

P. Bergstresser, D. will preach his farewell sermon at St. James Lutheran church next Sunday at 3 o'clock p. m.

C. W. Parker will have his cowboy oand out in full regalia on Roosevelt day, and will furnish the music for that occasion. Lucier, the tailor, not only carries goods in the price, but also has a full line of samples from which to make your selection. It is expected that the return game of ping pong between Abilene and Salina will be played sometime within the next two weeks.

Abilene fells sure of winning. The Flambeau Club will give a uniform dance at the A. 0. U. W.

ball Wednesday evening, April 29th. Everybody invited. The dance will be opened with a drill by the flambeau team. C. M.

Holmquist, of Salina, was one of the delegates elected at Abilene recently to represent the Fifth district at the state meeting of the Fraternal Aid which will be held at Topeka in May. The other delegates were: S. Shearer, Abilene; W. H. Pepperell, Concordia; B.

Colber, Manhattan and J. F. Freeman, Junetion City. The little daughter of Mr. and Mrs.

G. S. Upshaw died at the home of its parents on Second street Saturday morning. The funeral was held from the house at 9:30 Monday morning and the interement was made in the Abilene cemetery. The sympathy of the entire community is extended to the parents.

Messrs. W. W. Watson, John Bishop and B. A.

Litowich were in Abilene to confer with Senator Burton in regard to President Roose velt's reception here May 2. Senator Burton will be with the president and the committee explained to Mr. Burton the plans Salina had in view for entertaining the president during his short stay -Salina Evening Journal. President Burt of the Union Pacific, E. Harriman and Superintendent Bickerhoff, of the Kansas division, passed through Salina and Abilene Monday on their way east.

They stopped several hours in Fort Riley inspecting a site for a new depot, a large freight house and I agent's residence. Miss Harriman accompanied her father and went for a drive over the reservation. Makes A Clean Sweep. There's nothing like doing a thing thoroughly. Of all the Salves you ever heard of, Bucklen's Arnica Salve is the best.

It sweeps away and cures Burns, Sores, Bruises, Cuts, Boils, Ulcers, Skin Eruptions and Piles. It's only 15c, and guaranteed to give satisfaction by J. M. ner Druggist. The Nickel Plate Road Is the short line to the east and the service is equal to the best.

You will save time and money by traveling over this line. It has three through daily express trains, with through vestibuled sleeping cars, and American Club Meals, ranging in price from 35c to $1.00, are served in Nickel Plate dining cars; also a la carte service. Try a trip over the Nickel Plate road and you will find the service equal to any between Chicago and the east. Chicago depot: Harrison St. and Fifth Ave.

City Ticket Offices, 111 Adams St. and Auditorium Annex. John Y. Calahan, General Agent, 113 Adams Room 298, Chicago. The Rumely Engine.

This is a picture of the Rumely traction engine. It is made in La: Porte, a town especially adapted to the manufacture of engines because so many good boilor makers live there. One of the main purposes of a traction engine is to pull, and if you will take the trouble to investigate you will discover that the Rumely engine has a stronger "pull" than J. Pierrepont Morgan or Cy Leland. It is an engine built for business by men who understand the business of building engines.

You can have them in double or single cylinders in wood, coal or straw burners, but in only one quality, THE BEST. You may be able to buy cheaper engines, but if you do you will have to buy more of them, which is poor economy in the longrun. The discriminating buyer looks to strength, durability, economy in the use of fuel, simplicity and ease of operation, as well as price, and the Rumely has these qualities to satisfy the most exacting. They are as strenuous as Roosevelt, as unwavering as Bryan, as economical as Uncle Russel Sage. In addition to engines, the Rumely people build seperators that seperate and clover hullers that hull.

Their separators separate the wheat from the chaff instead of seperating the man from his money, and their bullers hull alfalfa as well as c'over. If you want a machine that will begin in the morning and thresh all day, begin in the spring and thresh all summer, begin when you pull the throttle and thrash until you close it, try a Rumely. If you want a machine that will please the man that pays for it and please the men. that run it, please the farmer that sells the wheat and please the dealer that buys it, please the miller that makes the flour and please the wife that bakes it, address M. RUMELY West Eleventh Street, Kansas City, or call on L.

D. TOLIVER at Abilene, Kansas. Nordicr, World's Greatest Dramatic Soprano. The greatest of aPl musical festivals. There have been musical events in Kansas but nothing to compare with the Musical Festival to be given in the great Auditorium at Topeka.

May 11-12-13. No such an talent has ever been brought together in the state. Everybody has heard of Theodore Thomas and with his great organization. The soloists accompanying Thomas are Jenny Osborn, soprano; Mabelle Crawford, contralto; Glenn Hall, tenor; and Frank Croxton, basso, all artists of national reputation. These people and the Topeka Choral Society of bundred voices will give "The Creation' on May 11th On May 12th the orchestra and soloists will give a matinee and on Tuesday evening, May 12th, the orchestra, soloists and Choral society will give a miscellaneous concert.

The great event of the week will be the concernt on Wednesday evening by Nordica, the world's greatest dramatic soprano; Edouard de Reszke, the most renowned basso of the century, accompanied by the augmented New York Metropolitau Opera House Orchestra, under the direction of the orly Dues. There are six other artists with this combination. all eminent in their lines This will probably be Nordica's last appearance in Kansas and de Reszke who has heretofore sung only in Grand Opera, will appear for the first time in dress suit. One half of the great Auditorium has been set aside for cities outside of Topeka Every seat in the house is in line of sight with the stage and the acoustic properties are perfect. Mrs.

Addie T. Gregg will take subscriptions for reserved seats until April 20th. Season tickets for the four concerts $2 50. Tickets for Nordica night, $2 00. CASTORIA For Infants and Children, The Kind You Have Always Bought Bears the Signature of hi R.

K. MC PIKE, D. D. 0 OSTEOPATH PHYSICIAN, GRADUATE OF AMERICAN SCHOOL OF OFTEOPATHY, KIRKSVILLE, MO. Abilene, Kansas.

SLANG IN THE WEST. Some of the Pitaresque Expressions Used in the Upper and Under World. "How are you feeling, old man?" asked a traveler from the east of an acquaintance in Kansas City the other day, according to a local exchange. "Not very well. I'm all shot to pieces," was the reply.

The west is both picturesque and original in slang. "All shot to pieces" to indicate that one is below par, physically, smacks of the untrammeled west, is full of local color, and in a few words tells a good deal. Another new expression to the touring easterner was "good Indian." Somebody once said that the only good Indians were the dead Indians; but a "good Indian" in its newest use in the west means a good fellow. Westerners use the word "line" a good deal in a slang sense. "A line of talk," for instance, tells its own story.

Likewise in the west where one person gets ahead of another, either by action or in conversation, he "beats him to it." "To pass him up," meaning to give him up or perhaps have nothing more to do with him, was heard a long time in the west before it was heard hereabouts. Appropriateness and brevity are combined to a telling degree in a western phrase for those whose habit it is to patronize the free lunch. In Missouri these individuals are known as the "nosebag bunch." But slang in its highest development is not to be found among respectable citizens, but in the under world. Now and then the professional hobos work, and a man who for three months is thrown in with a party of them on a ranch in Wyoming not long ago made a note of what 1 he considered their most effective expressions. In supplying slang the hobo is progressive.

He is constantly replenishing his vocabulary, and some of his latest achievements along this line are appended: "Say, Jack, go out and boost a gump, will yer?" The request to being the general name used by tramps in address--to "boost a gump" means to steal a chicken. When the professional wanderer would seek "nature's sweet restorer, balmy sleep," he does not declare his intentions quite so poetically. On the contrary, he says: "Hully gee! guess I'll flemish meself down and take me floppin's." "Plingin' along the main stem" is hoboese for begging along the main line, and when he has been put off a train by some unfeeling brakeman, or "shack," and is forced to hoof it for awhile, he "hits the grit." Whatever the hobo likes to eat is a "tomat." A "tomat" is almost anything good to eat, and a stew, at the making of which some of the "'bos" are adepts, is a "mulligan." "Throw out your goose and take neckin's" means to look around, to reconnoiter. It is analogous to "rubbering." As the hobo rides a good deal on trains, it is natural that he should try to get a pass. His "pass" is a stout stick, so adjusted to the brake rod that he can sit on it and be whirled across the country as long as not detected.

The hobo argues that his "pass" is the most desirable of all free transportation, since it is "good on any road." There are various sorts of cripples in the domain of the hobo. He who has a lame leg is a "flat wheel," and the hobo with a crippled arm becomes a "bum mit." In trampdom "salve" is butter, a "meg" is a cent, "sand" is sugar. and "dump" is a lodging house, a "rod" is a gun, and so on without limit. "There are different terms for penitentiary among crooks," said an assistant prosecuting attorney of A western city the other day, "but the expression I heard most is 'big Crooks refer to a pawnshop as a 'village' and a handkerchief as a but what struck me most forcibly of their peculiarities of conversation is the way they express their bravado when sentenced to the pen. 'Why, 1 can stand on my head that is the common way of proclaiming their indifference to the length of their tence." In a Hanaom.

How many women know where to sit in a hansom? Not the large majority, as seen in the streets tooling about in what Lord Beaconsfield calls the "London gondola," and which, is as popular here to-day as with our English cousins across the water. To sit properly in a hansom a woman driving alone never should occupy the middie of the seat. To do so is, according to Mme. Grundy's decrees, very bad form, for it makes her conspicuous, particularly when she shows a tendency to lean forward on the doors. man fashion.

Such a trick is not to be indulged in by the woman who desires a reputation for the correct thing. For her the proper place to sit is in the corner, and this not only for rea'sons of propriety, but safety as well. In case 1 the horse stumbles, or other accident occurs, the woman who sits in the corner stands a fair chance of preventing herself from being thrown out of the cab, for she has the pillar on which the door is hung, as well as the side of the cab, to protect her. Time was when girls were not permitted to ride alone in a hansom, but that has passed. Mme.

Grundy's only restriction now being that they shall occupy the vehicle in what she decrees the right Y. Herald. Something Was Broken. Young Lady (on shipboard) mamma, the screw driver is broken! Mamma--The what, my dear? Sailor-'Tis the propeller shaft, Tiger. PITH AND POINT.

"What is it that makes men great, papa?" "Persistent advertising, my son." Cleveland Plain Dealer. It is too bad that people who gossip a great deal do not occasionally shut down for lack of Globe. Always look on the bright side of things- and if you are going to invest your coin therein, look on both sides. -Chicago Daily News. Chivalrous Teacher "Johnny, you've been fighting." Johnny "Yes'm; Jimmie Brown said his teacher was prettier than you, an' I licked him till he took it looking for my slippers, dear.

Is there any place where you're sure you didn't put them?" do you mean?" want to look there for them Press. Very said mamma, apprehensively, "have you ever heard. Hugh use any bad words?" "No'm," answered the little fellow. Then, "Well, yes, I did, too, mamma. The other day he said git for Decidedly understand one of Straightlace's daughters is engaged in a very questionable occupation." What is it?" the query department in a newspaper." -Baltimore American.

Grumpp there a thing as a pianists? union?" never heard of one; why?" Grumpp thought if there was one I'd like to call it to the attention of the young woman next door and get her to join. She works at her piano more than eight hours a Press. BLIGHT ON THE PAW-PAW. Decadence of the Fruit Has Depressing Effect on the Minsouri Society, Subscribe for the DEMOCRAT. Before buying your spring suit see Lucier, the tailor, he carries all the novelties of the season.

Only first class work done. Three soldier trains will go through here this evening on their way to the Pacific coact. They will stop here for supper add to fill the water coolers with water. SUGAR AS A FOOD. When Taken in Excess la Liable do Derange and Injure the Vital Organs.

Physicians have discovered that the custom of using sugar as food is not only unnecessary, but injurious to health, says a medical journal. All the sugar that is needed in the system, is manufactured by the liver. Excess of sugar, the usual result of its use as food, causes fatty degeneration of the organs of the body. This kind of fat is known to be the foundation of such ders as Bright's disease, apoplexy, paralysis, fatty heart and abnormal conditions of the liver, kidneys, must cles and bones. Sugar in great excess of what the liver distils from natural foods ferments in the alimentary canal, producing alcohol, carbonic acid and vinegar.

An immediate result is dyspepsia, a general feeling of misery and a craving for more sweets. Like all other acquired tastes, the sugar-eating habit is hard to give up, but numerous tests have shown that when the habit is once broken, coffee and tea are better relished when unsweetened. The reformed eater of sugar finds the natural taste of articles of food more pleasant than when it is disguised by the presence of sugar. He also discovers an astonishing improvement in his health and spirits, with a capacity for physical and mental exertion which he did not possess while his system was kept clogged with sugar and its ferments. The conventional idea has long prevailed that sugar is a perfect food because the palate craves it and because it is made up of carbon, hydrogen and oxygen--all elements essential in sustaining life.

But when this idea first took root in people's minds they did not know that they carried about with them a more perfect sugar machine than man has invented- -the liver which has the power of extracting from natural foods exactly the quantity of sugar needed by the body. Take your lemonade unsweetened and your liver will reward you by working with extra energy. Leave sugar out of your general diet, and you will soon forget that you have any liver. "It's no use talkin'," said a member of the Missouri Society of New York when he was asked to have a banana, relates the Sun. "I can't cultivate my taste up to enjoy that fruit.

A Missourian can't eat a banana naturally. "Long before the banana, the pawpaw was. It was nature's gift to 1 Missouri. It grew wild, anywhere. It was like the peanut, everybody ate it, and it agreed with everybody.

"It was the one fruit which ever tried to monkey with in Missouri. They made preserves out of watermelon rinds, and sugar out of sorghum, but the pawpaw was served just as it grew. When the Missouri society was organized in New York it had pawpaws at one of its setdowns, and a young man who had pretended to be a Missourian was seen to put sugar on pawpaws. He got the cold storage shoulder right then and there. and has never been in good standing since.

"There was a piece of music written a good many years ago called the PawPaw quadrille. It was very popular in old Missouri. But I never heard of the Banana mazurka, did you? "I havent been out in Missouri for some years until recently. When I was asked during that visit if I would like some old Missouri sport I suggested a pawpaw hunt-it was the pawpaw season. But I was told that the pawpaw had ceased to flourish.

"You don't know how lonesome it made me feel. I wasn't a bit at home. Naturally, I inquired why it no longer flourished. said my host, 'some scientist came along and persuaded some of our folks that the pawpaw could be cultivated, and our folks got to experimentin' with it, and that was the end of the pawpaw. The hogs wouldn't eat it, and, of course, the people "There always were some things in Missouri on which civilization acted as a frost.

And the pawpaw was one. I asked my guest how in the world got along without pawpaws, and he said it was a good deal like getting accustomed to water in whisky. "You don't know how lonesome I felt all the time I was out there. I hankered for pawpaw, but it. was an aggravation.

Missouri without pawpaw to me, was like the seal of the state with the two bears left off. When I got ready to leave the state left a prize for a pawpaw, and when. I get one, if I ever do, I am going topickle it in alcohol, so that I can look at the fruit of my youth when I get lonesome. "The only thing that grows in its wildness now in the old state which grew when I was a boy is the persimmon. But some fool scientists will come along some day and try to raise seedless persimmons and that will settle the persimmon.

"Not long ago I went to a smoker of the Missouri Society of New York and the conversation turned on pawpaws. A member said the pawpaw was only a memory now, and that prompted another member to arise and say: 'I move that we call this smoker a and the motion was carried." Keep Doctors Straight. Germany and China afford excellent object lessons in the treatment of medical men. In Berlin the doctor's coachman wears a white hat. The advantage of this in, say, a street accident, is obvious.

In China the doctor is paid only 80 long as you keep well, and is by law compelled to illuminate the exterior of his residence by night with as many lamps as he has killed- that is, Journal. Like a Lobster. The atmosphere of society is apt to make green man turn red. -Chicago Daily News,.